White coat. Heels.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
