just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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