The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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