Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
