It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize