How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just want nice things and good sex
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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