I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize