oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
