these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
