She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
