Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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