His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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