I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
