I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
