Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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