Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
