Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
