careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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