The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
