Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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