It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
