today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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