We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
