there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
