I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize