Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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