Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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