there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I bet he comes in French.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
