spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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