maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
