I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize