you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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