if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Also, beer. Big fan.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My breasts were aching with rage.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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