those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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