Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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