I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dick very happy bro
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
