i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
