Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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