Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
