we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
