He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
