If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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