what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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