sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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