I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
