shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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