Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
