quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It's just like the Real World with babies
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
