Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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