He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i dont even know how to be here
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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