I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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