are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
