Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
