i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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