Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
