I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
