Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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