dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize