wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
