literally had 100 drinks last night.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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