I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
