My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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