I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
