Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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