so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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